italia.

so here's what's up...i have a lot to say about Barcelona, but i'm in Milan and have a lot to say (again-sorry) so i'll write about that, and then the next one will be a photo opp, i promise...
bear with me.

this is my journal entry from a few days ago...

11 april 2008 1520 Milan

I am writing from the exquisite house of the descendant of a fur trader's widow. He himself built this entire building and we are in her 2 story house that boasts artwork, sculptures, fabriced walls, silver, a maid, and a seamstress. My view overlooks Milan out to Duomo--the world's largest Gothic cathedral. It took some 600 years to contsruct, and is fashioned with 3400 statues, 135 spires, and 155 gargoyles! According to Lonely Planet Western Europe (LPWE), this city is the fashion capital with a ''wicked'' nightlife--and costs resemble that. After the 3-course meal, shave, and shower I just had, I'm prepared to relax. Carola (Sylvia's friend) will take us around a bit tomorrow. Her grandmother--the widow in whose house I am staying--said at dinner to me 'I like you.' :D I think it was soon after my comment (via Carola into Italian) ''please forgive my appearance'' (for I was scruffy and had not recently bathed...)

The 13 hour train ride from Barcelona stretched into 14 as we sat at the border for almost an hour for a reason unbeknownst to me. It stretched our wallets as well--for up till now we only have paid up to 15 euors for a train reservation with our passes, but had to drop 46 for the trip here :(

I sat next to 3 Mexicanas in a quad-area of the train (as I was assigned) who were lively and with whom i conversed a lot. Gisela, Marcela, and Malu are here for a beauty expo in Balogna, and are travelling around a bit as we are.

In Quo Vadis (the PHENOMENAL book I'm reading) it seems that Vicinisus has reached a point of [spiritual] conversion, but it was strikingly anti-climactic! In any case, Peter and Paul addressed him and more than anything--revealed to him objectively the life of following Christ, and the position of his changing heart. They took him to Lygia, where Peter blessed their love for each other as good, not as sin. I have over 250 pages to go still (and have gone that much so far) so I am on edge as to what all else it holds. All I know is that I am thankful to have brought it (thanks Ben!) and I trust that it is part of God's intention for me at this time. I shy away from that seemingly circumstancial theology, but feel at times its nearness and poignancy--therefore I cannot deny it outright. Time will tell ultimately (in the case of these books) how poignant, in fact, the specificity of God in the (seemingly) minutia of details.

Walking around this house today, and talking/listening at long length to Carola's experience working with the U.N., her desire to impact the cycle of poverty from generation to generation, and her disgust with her country's corruption from the government down, has had my mind again at attention. Part of me thinks\desires wealth--as I see it throughout this house on plain display. Part of me too desires justice and to ''put a dent in the world'' (steve jobs i think). Always the theme of my favor with people shines clearly to me--from the Mexicans on the train, Pam and her daughter from Oregon, Dave the Aussie, to this affluent aging widow from a world altogether different from my own. To what profit can I invest this favor given me? Certainly sharing life with people/teaching comes first to my mind. I struggle still with encountering a particular way of sharing faith, though with Dave, and almost here with Luiga (the widow), have I seen conversation open up despite me--and invite me to step in if that be my desire. I feel that I can only see crossroads, and that choosing a direction and going are at once as or more important than understanding or foreseeing their outcomes.

This has been a helpful brain dump. In my best moments I am enjoying this trip and what it presents to me day by day. In the others I worry about money and the future, and sin thus unto lack of peace.

Jesus be near me and give me rest. I give to you (over and again) this life and abilities and resources you have given me. Lest you guide me, and lest I learn to love you more than my own control, life is not worth living. Bless and keep my family and friends at home, bring Don safely to us Sunday, and thanks again--for I trust your control...